Frank's Lament |
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The sun is shining.
The grass is green.
The orange and palm trees sway.
There's never been such a day
at the Buffy set in L.A.
But the show's coming to a close,
And my future nobody knows.
I'm dreaming of my own sitcom,
Just like the ones on Fox TV.
With the trailer trash humor,
And neighbors named Boomer,
And more blood than they show on ABC.
I'm dreaming of my own sitcom,
As prop guys pack up the last stake.
All My Children has been seeking a new Jake;
Or maybe Sorkin could use a big green snake.
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My Lonely Mailbox |
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Ever since I first appeared on Buffy the Vampire Slayer back in season five,
I've been getting lots of fanmail. It happens, ya know. Hot new actor, stirring it up with the
star of the show, you're bound to get some attention. And I get some really interesting letters, with
poems and songs, and someone even managed to dig up this
oldie but goodie. Ah, good times.
In the future, I'd like to put up some of the more interesting stuff I get, but to do that, you need to send
stuff! Send letters, poems, haikus, songs, cartoons, anything at all that's funny and amusing, and of course, has
to do with me! Use my contact form for the letters and stuff, and if you have any
images you'd like to send, just send me a note and I'll let you know my email addy.
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Hello, my name is Frank, and welcome to my website.
You might be asking yourself, "Love's bitch? Why is Frank love's bitch? I thought Frank had it all."
Well, let's face it—we're all love's bitch. Our lives are driven by that which we love. I don't
know about you, but I love it when my food keeps screaming even when it's half digested. I also love acting,
which is why I put up with hanging out at the Mutant Enemy offices and letting my coworkers dress me up
in silly hats and whatnot, 'cause you just never know when they're gonna need another snake-demon to terrorize
Sunnydale or Los Angeles. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to do what I love.
I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm snake enough to admit it.
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Product Endorsement! |
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According to Baby Xander Salamander, "Frank makes me just wanna get up and dance!" BXS has been buying our fine
products since he was just a wee salamander, and now that he's a fully grown salamander and can finally reach the keyboard,
he couldn't wait to write and tell us, "Thanks LovesBitch.com!"
No, thank you, Baby Xander Salamander, for being another satisfied customer!
LovesBitch.com tshirts, mugs and
bumper stickers, for discerning amphibians everywhere.
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Random Tidbits |
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When I created this website, I had no clue really what I was going to put on it, so my little
navigation plan wasn't terribly inclusive. (So I suck at organization. Sue me.) Until I have a better
idea of where things are gonna fit, I'm putting the odd-shaped pieces here.
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My Mailing List |
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If you'd like to know when there are updates to this site, then join my mailing list:
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